Welcome to another blog post documenting the experience of juggling a career in music with having a baby. If you’d like to read part one of Music and Motherhood, click this link.
Darling Sophie is now almost a year old, so I thought I’d squeeze this post in right when she’s on the cusp of so many milestones. Her first birthday is just around the corner, she is about to start walking, she’s starting nursery really soon, and she’s no longer in the ‘baby’ class at swimming, she’s graduated to the ‘toddler’ class.
I can’t quite believe I’m about to write this, but this last year has also been one of the most profitable years of my music career. How this has happened I’m not quite sure, but I have a few ideas:
- I’ve had to be very strategic about organising my time. When I’m with my daughter, I try to give her 100% of my attention. When she was tiny I could do admin while she napped on me. Now she’s cruising about, needs constant supervision and wants to play all day long. Tim and I sometimes do a three-hour stint of admin/work while the other one looks after Sophie. This really helps.
- I squeezed all my private teaching into just two days. I teach from my family home about a mile away from where I live. This is key and gives me some separation to practice at mum’s and catch up with emails during any gaps between students. Mondays and Tuesdays are pretty hectic to say the least, but it is the most efficient way to organise my teaching. I have received so many teaching enquiries lately that I’m going to have to start a waiting list. Perhaps I can open up another day once Sophie starts nursery. We shall see.
- When Sophie was tiny I invested a lot of time and effort into this website, writing blogs, investing in new photos, optimising the SEO as much as I can with my limited knowledge (thanks, YouTube).
- I have a really strong ‘WHY’ now. I have always been passionate about music and felt it is an integral part of who I am – but now, I have to make it work. Music not only gives me fulfilment but allows me the most time to spend with my daughter. Everything I do now is with her best interests in mind.
There are also a few things I’ve had to leave behind. Mainly, excess screen-time and social media. I took social media apps off my phone and I feel so much better for it. I don’t have the TV on when Sophie is around. We barely watch anything anymore apart from Traitors UK.
The last thing I would want is for my daughter to be trying to engage with me, only to find me lost in my phone. I also refuse to put a screen in front of her. Experts recommend no screens at all before the age of two apart from video calls with family members, and so far we’ve been sticking to that. I highly recommend the book The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt for a very detailed look at how screens and social media affect young people.
For the last goodness-knows how many years, I think a lot of us have convinced ourselves that we need social media for our businesses. What I am learning is that in my case, I was using this argument as an excuse for staying plugged in, staying addicted and staying on the endless scroll. The real world is more important. Will I still post occasionally? Probably, but my screen-time is way down and I feel so much better. It makes quality time with my daughter so much better too. Working on our websites is a much more productive use of our time. Trust me.
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These last twelve months have been the most amazing, challenging, emotional, painful, wonderful, exhausting, happy times of my life. I am torn between wanting time to stand still but also being excited about all the good times ahead making memories together.
Oh, she just woke up from her nap. I’ll catch you again soon!
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