family Archives » Harpist Angelina

15 February 2025 No Comments

Welcome to another blog post documenting the experience of juggling a career in music with having a baby. If you’d like to read part one of Music and Motherhood, click this link.

Darling Sophie is now almost a year old, so I thought I’d squeeze this post in right when she’s on the cusp of so many milestones. Her first birthday is just around the corner, she is about to start walking, she’s starting nursery really soon, and she’s no longer in the ‘baby’ class at swimming, she’s graduated to the ‘toddler’ class.

I can’t quite believe I’m about to write this, but this last year has also been one of the most profitable years of my music career. How this has happened I’m not quite sure, but I have a few ideas:

I’ve had to be very strategic about organising my time. When I’m with my daughter, I try to give her 100% of my attention. When she was tiny I could do admin while she napped on me. Now she’s cruising about, needs constant supervision and wants to play all day long. Tim and I sometimes do a three-hour stint of admin/work while the other one looks after Sophie. This really helps.
I squeezed all my private teaching into just two days. I teach from my family home about a mile away from where I live. This is key and gives me some separation to practice at mum’s and catch up with emails during any gaps between students. Mondays and Tuesdays are pretty hectic to say the least, but it is the most efficient way to organise my teaching. I have received so many teaching enquiries lately that I’m going to have to start a waiting list. Perhaps I can open up another day once Sophie starts nursery. We shall see.
When Sophie was tiny I invested a lot of time and effort into this website, writing blogs, investing in new photos, optimising the SEO as much as I can with my limited knowledge (thanks, YouTube).
I have a really strong ‘WHY’ now. I have always been passionate about music and felt it is an integral part of who I am – but now, I have to make it work. Music not only gives me fulfilment but allows me the most time to spend with my daughter. Everything I do now is with her best interests in mind.

There are also a few things I’ve had to leave behind. Mainly, excess screen-time and social media. I took social media apps off my phone and I feel so much better for it. I don’t have the TV on when Sophie is around. We barely watch anything anymore apart from Traitors UK.

The last thing I would want is for my daughter to be trying to engage with me, only to find me lost in my phone. I also refuse to put a screen in front of her. Experts recommend no screens at all before the age of two apart from video calls with family members, and so far we’ve been sticking to that. I highly recommend the book The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt for a very detailed look at how screens and social media affect young people.

For the last goodness-knows how many years, I think a lot of us have convinced ourselves that we need social media for our businesses. What I am learning is that in my case, I was using this argument as an excuse for staying plugged in, staying addicted and staying on the endless scroll. The real world is more important. Will I still post occasionally? Probably, but my screen-time is way down and I feel so much better. It makes quality time with my daughter so much better too. Working on our websites is a much more productive use of our time. Trust me.

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These last twelve months have been the most amazing, challenging, emotional, painful, wonderful, exhausting, happy times of my life. I am torn between wanting time to stand still but also being excited about all the good times ahead making memories together.

Oh, she just woke up from her nap. I’ll catch you again soon!

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Music and Motherhood – life as a professional musician with a baby

Having a baby has changed everything in my life massively, and my life as a musician is no exception to that.

Life before Sophie and life after Sophie are two very different places. Today’s blog post is going to explore how I’m navigating my music career alongside giving my baby the very best care and attention that I can give.

a photo of wedding harpist Angelina holding baby

She was born two weeks late, at the end of February. I had cancelled all work of any kind for all of February and March. I knew that I would need time and space not only to learn how to take care of a newborn, but also to begin healing physically from birth. If I’d have known she’d be so late, I would have taken more time off everything. The start of April felt really soon to be teaching again. As is often the case, hindsight is 20/20 and this is the first lesson I’ve learned. Give yourself more time than you think you’ll need.

Now she’s almost six months old, I look back on the newborn phase and see how wonderfully simple it was compared to what it’s like now. Snuggle, feed, change nappy, repeat. What a gorgeous bubble. Now I’m starting to deal with her refusing to sleep on her own, experimenting with solid food, and needing much more in the way of stimulation, toys and play. It feels like a much more ‘full on’ phase. But everything is a phase with babies. This is the second lesson: Nothing lasts forever. Some chapters feel harder than others. When she’s one I’m sure I’ll look back on this time and marvel at how wonderfully simple it was, she’s not even crawling yet. Food is just for fun and there’s still plenty of snuggles to be had.

It’s tempting as a mum to try to keep quiet about our struggles, for fear of the dreaded ‘just you wait’ comments: ‘You think it’s hard now?? Just you wait until x, y and x’. Maybe each chapter is hard in a different way, the struggle of one phase doesn’t negate the difficulty of another. Sure, the newborn phase seemed simple, but I also had a house to take care of while recovering from a Caesarean. I was exhausted and in pain. The house was a mess and laundry needed doing. We never slept for more than three hours in one stretch. It felt really hard at the time.

So where does music fit into all this?

Good question. I’m still trying to work it out myself. I’ve had to really boil down what I need to do and be very strategic in making sure the essentials get done. My practice – when I get the opportunity to sit and practice – is so laser-focussed, because it has to be. What gigs do I have coming up? What music do I need to prepare? Which sections of the music aren’t quite fluent yet? What is most urgent?

I can no longer book in gigs or students without checking that someone can look after Sophie. That has taken some getting used to. I’ve been a free agent for so long and now I have to be much more careful with my diary.

Admin tasks such as replying to emails, sorting invoices and contracts, working on my website are now relegated to the corners of the day. Straight after teaching, while Sophie might be out on a walk with Nana, or while Sophie naps in her cot (praise the sleep gods, she sometimes sleeps on her own!)

I just keep coming back to the thought that this is an important chapter. A phase of life in which the main focus is my baby. Yes, I’m trying to squeeze my musical life in as well, but as long as I can keep everything ticking over for now, I may have more free time in future chapters.

The moment she turns six months old, Tim is going to get a running buggy for her. That will mean a significant amount more time will be available when I can be alone at home, practising without distraction. I’ve been listening to Cal Newport’s podcast Deep Questions and reminding myself how important it is to do our work without distractions – which is pretty much impossible with a baby. When she’s one she’ll be going to nursery for two days a week. The thought of it kind of breaks my heart but it’ll be so good for her to socialise and it will be a chance for Tim and I to catch up on everything else we have to do.

If you’re reading this and you are a parent, please leave a comment and tell me how you coped during the first year of your baby’s life, I’d be so interested to hear your experiences.

I may write some more blog posts like this, if you’d like to subscribe and get future posts delivered to your inbox, just pop your email address in the box where it says ‘Subscribe’ towards the top right of your screen.

Click the link to read more about my work as a Wedding Harpist in York

Music and Motherhood – part 2

Music and Motherhood – life as a professional musician with a baby

So where does music fit into all this?